YS 有个超级自恋的老爸，又有个无敌自恋的朋友区区在下。她写了这篇文章，让我嘻哈绝倒：

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在这个价值混乱，外境瞬间替换的时代，很多人找不到自我，找不到所谓“自己”的定位。我是谁？我该做什么？这样做对吗？好吗？为了应对虚幻的外境，这些的问题似乎答案也永远改变，永远找不到。

在这样的局势里，“自恋”-其实是一帖自保的良药。自恋，是对自己爱护有加，相信自己，它表面看起来多么地容易，但其背后隐藏的心境，却可能是有些其他人一 辈子都无法栽培和孕育的。不管他在对这个世界未认识之前还是认识以后，都保持着一颗对自己爱恋得如如不动的功夫，谈何容易？但恰如其反的是，自恋的人通常 不以为这有多困难，因此在我看来，自恋多半是与生俱来的，而这个与生俱来的恩赐，很可能使其一生扬帆顺畅。

使其一生扬帆顺畅的不是他不会历经大风大浪，而是他那内在的过滤制度，使那些在别人眼里，看似困难，看似挫折的东西，变得微小，或变成另一种意义。别忘了，自恋的，就是感觉自己很厉害，既然自己很厉害，就没有什么东西难得倒他。使其一生扬帆顺畅的是-凡事笑傲度过。

自恋的人是single minded的。许多复杂的事情和过程会被他简化，因为他的目的只是要表现自己好的一面。他很有自己一套自我认同的内在架构，使其在漫长的岁月，也不必对社会庞大的制度系统交待。学校考试分数高不高，别人讲他这种族不厉害，都跟他没什么关系。他只要，觉得自己够好，就可以了。怎么能这样呢？他 就 是 可 以 这 样。

从内心来看，自恋的人不懂得什么叫negative talk，从来不会和自己说自己的坏话。他只会懊恼上天怎么这么不公平，尽给了他过人的智慧兼独特的外表…这个保护层扩散至外的时候，它就能把外来抨击贬嘲笑的声音一并谢绝在外，只有好听赞美表扬的话，一一吸收，储存到自己的能量库里。他常记得的是，自己有什么优点，过去有什么成就。哪怕是20年前的 事，只要娓娓道来，那面上的容光焕发和洋洋得意，绝不比当年逊色。越被赞扬，就越能做，越能做，就越被赞扬，这些能量就像滚雪球般的累积，使他感觉越来越好。

一个对自己感觉美好的人，自然信心十足。或许他太明白，因为太多人不够自信，因为太多人更愿意遵从，使其相对占据优势。他涉猎广泛，各个领域略知一二，但拥有举一反三的小聪明，于是逢人皆能侃侃而谈。甚至成为一个领域的佼佼者，只要下一番功夫便不是问题。

自恋，如果加上幽默-那是能量，加上快乐，这样的生命是多么地令人悸动。当现代人迷惑于尘世的各种悲哀而汲汲寻找生命真谛等之时，有些人靠这两种东西，走完了简单，但不容易的圆满人生。

网友 Dana 在之前《Debt Management》的帖子里回覆了这篇文章，好文，最简单地解释了什么是次贷风暴：

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琳达是一位酒吧老板。为了提高酒水的销售量，她决定让一部分老顾客—其中大部分是失业酒鬼—享受先喝酒后付款的优惠。她把每个顾客的消费金额都记在 账单上。消息传开以后，来琳达酒吧喝酒的人剧增。由于顾客不必马上付款，琳达把卖出最多的饮料悄悄提升了价格。她的营业额像滚雪球一样成倍激增。

当地银行的客户服务顾问认为这些账单是宝贵的未来资产，于是就增加了琳达的贷款金额。并且他们把酒鬼的账单作为贷款担保。

在银行的总部，精明的银行家们把这些顾客资产，也就是酒鬼的账单，转化成了3种有价证券，在市场上广泛流通。

没有人知道这些有价证券是什么意思，安全性有多高。不过随着它们的价格不断攀升，这些有价证券变成了热卖点。

一天，银行的风险投资顾问认为琳达酒吧应该偿还贷款了。可是失业的酒鬼们根本没法结账，导致琳达无法履行还款义务，进而宣布破产。

其中两种证券的价格立马下跌95%，另一种证券还算稳定，下跌80%时就原地踏步。与此同时，那些慷慨供应琳达酒吧的代理商的货款也该支付了。 于是他们的处境变得和琳达差不多。其中，葡萄酒供应商破了产，啤酒供应商被同行兼并。银行受到政府的帮助，每天聆听来自政治团体切磋出来的“好主意”。至于那些资产漏洞，只好通过对不喝啤酒的人征税来填补……

经历的事情越多，越会发觉：真相不可得。

从前玩辩论时说的：真理越辩越明；或者保守一点的说法：辩论是不断接近真理的管道。现在看来，这些只是骗小孩子的话。

真相不可得，固然因为玩游戏的人巧妙地隐蔽了真相，但是更重要的是，人们根本不想知道真相。

你没听错，人们不想知道真相；人们只喜欢听起来像真相的假象。

而正如《 The International 》里那位老共产党员所说的：假象，往往合乎常理。

没有人能看穿假象吗？有的。为什么不揭穿呢？不会的。

能看穿假象和真相之间关系的人，往往也会连带发觉：掌握这个诀窍，能够为自己带来如何巨大的好处。于是他们要么保持静默无声，要么勇于揭穿伪真相。这些人的名字，后来都刻在历史的伟人榜上。

少数不受这个私利诱惑的人为什么也不出声呢？也不会的。上天给揭穿真相设立的门槛太高了，正如所说，人们不喜欢知道真相，叫破国王的新衣的人，往往被责骂、取笑、排斥、甚至被架在火上烤。

要么做个静默的明白人，要么做个勇敢的炮灰，微弱的真话就算有幸发出，旋即也会被掩盖在噪音当中。能看穿真相的人必是才智之士，他们不会不知道这重利害关系。值得开口吗？

还是沏一壶好茶，坐下来听听满世界的寂静和噪音吧。

“The world is not fair, get used to it.” Bill Gates 如此说。

没错，世界确实是不公平的，你要么忙着抱怨，要么忙着把自己变成别人抱怨的比较对象。但是这个世界至少有两件事是绝对公平的：

时间、以及自由的抉择。

不论你是帝王将相还是凡夫俗子，每个人同样只有一天二十四小时；同样的，哪怕你身处泥泞，但是你可以选择向上攀升、或是往下继续沉沦。人有绝对的自由选择，成为更好、或更不好。

没有人能阻止你改变自己的自由意志，所以人三十岁后要对自己的样貌负责。

你不是贵族的后裔，但是你可以选择成为贵族的祖先；你没有样貌，但是你可以选择微笑；你没有G奶，但是你可以选择隆胸。

谨以此文，纪念一位陪我一路走来，如今选择沉沦的朋友。

老邱发了一封小故事给我，看了不禁令人莞尔。这和那个两堆大便及 GDP 的笑话实在有异曲同工之妙。然而现代金融不正是处处充满了许多荒谬之处么？

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精明商人的儿子往往看起来也像个精明的商人；

黑帮老大的儿子却往往看起来像个秀气的书生。

我想，这背后的原因恐怕是因为，商人父亲充份体会到：精明行商的技巧，在这个残酷而又现实的竞争社会实在太重要和太有优势了，于是不时耳提面命、循循善诱，所以下一代在潜移默化下不免也打着一手熟练的算盘；

而黑帮老大父亲却大多深刻体会黑道这条路不好走、不值得走，不想下一代重蹈覆辙，走回自己的老路，因此严厉不让孩子接触自己的生活、甚至刻意将孩子栽培成和自己截然相反的、理想中的书生模样。有意思的进一步佐证是，黑帮老大的长子或许还会和老爸有几分相似，越往下排的孩子，往往越秀气：因为当小儿子出世时，老子逐渐上位了，故此更有闲情和心思认真栽培孩子。

当然，我说的只是一般现象，不是必然现象。事实上没什么东西能成为必然现象，任何一个小小变动就能造成蝴蝶效应，导致截然不同的结局。然而正如《可乐牛奶经济学》的作者所言：任何规律都有特例，但正因为特例，故此更能证明规律的存在。

吊诡的是，小混混的儿子却常常更匪气、更像个黑帮老大。其实也不吊诡，因为他们所站的位置只看到老大的风光，未能看见整个行业的不值得之处，满脑子只想着模仿老大往高处爬，哪里会去想到要转型？

故此人们常说，人三十岁以前，父母要对你的面貌负责任，此言诚不虚也。有时候当你纳闷一个人怎么那幅猫样时，看看他的父母，或许你就知道答案了。

住在士拉央，每次有朋友来找我，问我这里有什么美食时，我都会很无奈地两手一摊：士拉央没有美食的。

结果那天被友人轰：外地的人都知道士拉央菜市里有一档很出名的啦啦炒饭，怎么你竟然不知道？

林北在那里吃东西这么多次了，就是敢敢不知道。

今天特地过去捧场。难怪之前没发觉，档口非常的不起眼，连招牌都没有。但是周围坐满人，每个刚抵达的顾客都被告知：至少要等候半个小时。

乖乖在等候的时候，突然发觉隔壁卖杂饭的安娣很有品位，唱机播放的都是好歌。轻轻地跟着哼唱。然后来到一首歌是我不懂的，起身过去和安娣攀谈套料。

于是带回了一碟美味的啦啦炒饭和这首 周子寒 - 吻和泪。

会构思这篇文章，起源于健聪和王维兴的一番对话；正在犹豫要不要写这种吃力不讨好的争论性文章，又撞上健聪难得更新的部落格最新的文章批判金钱主义。唉，这个死家伙总是让我手痒。写吧。

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一个人若是醉心于茶艺，因此而不理世事、政局、救援、慈善，我们一般不会说这个人没有良心、冷血、自私；相反的，还会为他冠上 “大师”、“追求艺术的性情中人” 等美名；

可是如果一个人醉心于赚钱，因此而不理世事、政局、救援、慈善，我们会称呼这个人为 “追求商业的性情中人” 吗？恐怕没那么客气了吧？孤寒鬼、吸血鬼、浑身铜臭的生意人，几乎是大多数人连多一颗脑细胞都不必用就会有的形容词。

如何泡一壶更好的茶、和如何赚更多的钱，两者不都是在钻研磨练一门技艺的纯个人兴趣喜好吗？为什么对两种同样性质的行为却有天渊之别的反应？老实说，真要比较的话，前者有何屁用？家中几张嘴巴没有饭开的时候，泡一壶幽香好茶就能填饱肚子吗？而后者不仅能照顾好自己，还能增加 GDP和就业机会，实质造福更多的人。

我想我们会有这样的反应，那是因为大多数人、除了犹太人以外的民族、成长的社会环境都在告诫我们：喜爱金钱是可鄙的、虚荣的、甚至是不道德的。究其根底，那是因为大多为人父母都面对赚取财富的挑战。面对孩子物质上的要求，哪里会有人那么笨承认自己无能？不是自己的错，当然是宇宙和月亮的错了。掩饰自己阳痿最好的方法，就是渲染勃起是不好的，如果能把做爱讲成是一种罪恶那就更妙了。

电影《The Pursue of Happiness》里的父亲对孩子有一番经典的对话：“People say you can’t do it, because they can’t do it!” (人们说这件事你不可能办到，那是因为他们自己办不到！)

我觉得这句话还可以改成：“People say is not good to do it, because they can’t do it good enough!” （人们告诉你做这种事是不好的，那是因为他们自己做不好！）

犹太人不会那么虚伪无聊，因为几千年以来犹太人经历太多的苦难了，他们没有多余的权利不去变得更实际。中华民族多难兴邦，本该也是个讲求实际的民族，事实上我们也确实相当实际了；可是另一方面我们又同时被那个轻工匠重乐师的白痴孔丘荼毒了太多年，屡屡被洗脑要自我牺牲成全伟大，以致于我们常常在务实和务虚之间性格分裂、手脚抽搐、口吐白沫。

这种清高的鄙视金钱心态进一步发酵，就会升级成罗宾汉心态：从鄙视富人，到尝试骑劫富人。对他们来说，发达的人都是邪恶的魔鬼化身，死有余辜。他们没有看见，追求财富的人都冒着比常人更大的失败风险，而当中大多数确实已在浪花中被淘汰。

这种仇视财富的心态，到头来只会导致自身的致富能力进一步的萎缩，于是他们变得更仇视财富来自我平衡，自此陷入恶性循环。很久以前就有人教导我：要获得权威，首先你必须尊敬权威。致富亦然。

那些知道这种观念有问题的人，也没有几个愿意像野兽修行这个傻嗨酱跳出来尝试颠覆这种观念。个人体验，他们只会一边继续赚钱一边偷着乐：你们这班傻嗨继续鄙视金钱吧！最好个个继续清高，让更多的金钱流入林北的口袋，少一把筷子抢吃最好。

你或许会质问：难道除了金钱以外就没有更重要的东西了吗？当然有！所以我也关注其他事物，并且自信其关注不逊于许多人。但是不应当为此而虚假地贬低赚钱的重要性。皮之不存，毛将焉附？

达摩祖师早就告诉我们：最重要的是不要欺骗自己。我把这句话当成是人生最重要的信条。面对金钱这个生活里最重要的其中一环，我们什么时候才能放下虚幻的伟大情操，坦然以对？

我知道她是前首相马哈迪的女儿，我知道她写文章，但是我从没认真读过她的文章。但是这一次，她每一句话都说进我的心坎上。

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The End of Civility?

Marina Mahathir - Sunday, 06 September 2009 16:48

I had to remind myself many times that this was happening during Ramadan, when we are enjoined to exercise restrain.  Did these people then go home and eat since surely their puasa was batal’d?

I grew up in Kedah and Kedahans, while not an overly formal people, put great store on courtesy and manners. Known for being gentle people, we were governed by many rules on how we behaved and spoke, particularly to our elders.

For instance, it was considered extremely impolite to refer to ourselves as ’saya’ (I) when speaking to family members (including extended family members). ‘Saya’ was considered so formal as to be snobby, even arrogant. (The extremely informal ‘aku’ however was beyond the pale; you only use it among very close friends who are allowed to call you the very rough ‘hang’). Correctly speaking, you have to refer to yourself always by name, or at least the diminutive version of it, or, as some very traditional Kedah women would, as ‘Che’ (pronounced ‘Chek’, not ‘Chay’) though this is considered very ‘manja’. Thus you would say, “Che tak tau la sapa mai tadi pasai Che tak dak kat rumah.” (I don’t know who came just now because I was not home.)

Similarly, having to name one’s parents posed great difficulties to the well-brought up Kedahan. Our parents’ names were sacred, not to be bandied about. Perhaps it was a way of teaching us not to be arrogant about our family and origins. But if asked what our parents’ names were, the reaction was often a certain amount of blushing and hand-wringing before a tiny voice finally whispered their names.

This was the way I grew up. And to this day I treat my elders with respect, even when I don’t like them too much. I may now find it easier to refer to myself as ’saya’ when I speak to someone in KL though I tend to retreat to the English ‘I’ when I can. Also, even 12 years after receiving my award from the Sultan of Selangor, I cannot bring myself to introduce myself by my title nor sign off anything but the most formal of letters with it. It’s the Kedah way and what my parents taught me.

Not to say that Malays from other states are any less polite. We stick to many rules of courtesy. One of those I like is calling someone older than you ‘Kak’ or ‘Abang’ or ‘Makcik/Aunty’ or ‘Pakcik/Uncle’.I still inwardly cringe when a young person calls me by my name although I have made it a rule that if they’re over 25, they don’t have to call me Aunty. And those who do call me Aunty aren’t allowed to shout it out too loudly in public. But it’s nice when, unbidden, young people easily address you as Kak or Aunty as a show of respect. It also tells you a lot about their upbringing.

Why am I talking about upbringing? It’s really been prompted by that video I posted yesterday on the Shah Alam dialogue-turned-fracas. Over the years I have become aware that civility is really becoming uncool. People are rude everywhere, whether on the roads, in shops (you know, the ubiquitous and automatic ‘no stock’ without even bothering to look) or on the phone. Most of it is shrugged off as the daily irritations of city life and frankly sometimes on a bad day I can be curt too.

But one of the occasions in which I am never impolite is in a meeting.  Over the years I have been in numerous meetings/dialogues/conferences/consultations, whatever you want to call them.  They can be tedious, boring, frustrating and annoying. But it’s never served anyone well to be rude in them. I have faced very vocal opponents in several meetings and have never yielded to the temptation of shouting back at them.  In fact the louder they get, the calmer I become. My philosophy is, just because a point is shouted doesn’t make it a better argument.

Which is why when I watched that video it was clear to me that those people had no intention of having any dialogue at all. What dialogue is there when all one person can say (or rather shout repeatedly) is  ‘Bangang!’.  One bespectacled man takes the mike and starts off speaking normally enough and then suddenly spins into some sort of hysterical dance, much like a child stamping its foot when it doesn’t get something it wants.  Another man, in a songkok to denote piety perhaps, grabs the mike behind the panel and starts shouting incomprehensibly. Someone else apparently took off his shoes and showed it to the MB. Did his mother teach him that?

But the ’star’ is the young man with the ponytail who is a tubby hurricane unto himself, shouting, waving, jumping up and down, rushing the panel, all the while not uttering a single comprehensible word that might advance his argument. I can almost picture how he drives his car.

I had to remind myself many times that this was happening during Ramadan, when we are enjoined to exercise restrain. Did these people then go home and eat since surely their puasa was batal’d?

It still puzzles me what the reason for not having the temple in their neighbourhood is. I was following the whole session on Twitter and apparently one woman claimed that having the temple there would cause house prices to fall and crime rates to rise. The logic of that escapes me.  In my neighbourhood, there is a mosque, a temple and a church within shouting distance of one another and there is no problem, apart from the traffic jams and indiscriminate parking on Fridays.  Although crime is a problem in my area, it can’t be attributed to the presence of places of worship, and house prices have risen to ridiculous levels.

I did start to wonder though, is there no mosque in Section 23? Would they rather there be a mosque where the temple is to be? If so, why put it in a factory area?

Even so, what trouble would a temple bring except from these people themselves? In what way does it intrude into their lives? And as a friend pointed out, if being in the majority is the excuse not to have a place of worship of a minority faith, then there would be no mosques in America or Europe.

But back to the behaviour of these people, this is the most troubling part of it. These are the people on whom the government and the police base their arguments for not allowing demos or for using the ISA, notwithstanding the allegations that these are pro-BN people and that most probably they will never be hauled up. These are the examples pointed to when people say that demos can’t be allowed because people can’t control their emotions and behave rationally. These are the people held up as ‘typical’ Malaysians, a notion I find extremely insulting.

Even more ironically, these are the very same people who insist that we must keep the ISA, because they assume that everyone must behave like them in situations like this. That, just because they can’t be trusted to discuss anything in a civilised manner, nobody else can either. They see the world entirely as mirrors of themselves, no matter how ugly that reflection. Or perhaps it’s a distorted mirror they are looking at, where all their reflections come out beautiful.

We know that there are many people out there perfectly capable of intelligent, calm and rational discussion. In fact our culture dictates that that’s how we conduct ourselves. Only a few people are predisposed to acting like neanderthals, whose idea of a good ‘dialogue’ is when the outcome has been predetermined to their advantage. Make no mistake, these types transcend race. But in this case, it is clear that the ugly ones are those who claim to represent my race and religion. I’m sorry but I refuse to be represented by them.

But the trouble is, the excuse for maintaining harsh laws will be these people. Just because a small number of people don’t know how to behave, the rest of us are the ones who will have to suffer.

Already the Malaysian Comunications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) has asked for these videos to be taken down. I suspect it’s because it makes Malays look bad. Could there be a sense of shame after all? But the official excuse is that Indians will get offended. Well I’m sorry la, but every decent right-thinking Malaysian is offended, not just Indians. And for that decency, we are going to be punished.

God help us, Malaysia.

在网上看到一个日本新发明的电子产品：烟花投射灯。

这是一个能够逼真模拟烟花喷射效果的投射灯。有了这个一般居家购买得起的电子产品，普通人随时随地都能制造烟花效果。

网站的 marketing 包装术语说：此产品热卖中。

这个投射灯不会长久热卖的，我觉得。

人们喜欢看烟花，不仅是因为其璀璨；更重要的，还因为其稀缺和短暂。

一旦这种稀缺和短暂成了唾手可得的永恒，烟花也就成了不值一文的玩具。谁会稀罕能随时复制的玩具？

电影 《Incredible Man》里有一句话：“When everyone is Super Hero, there is no more Super Hero.”

所以如果烟花投射灯普遍发行的时候，也就意味着烟花正式走入了历史。

嗯，然后朋友计划在婚礼上放烟花。我在想以刹那的璀璨来衬托永恒的希望是否恰当？